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| holy crap that felt good to say.
yes. i'm done. and in a couple of days when marks come out, i'll find out for reals whether or not i've earned the right to get that friggen $50K+ piece of paper. boy 5 years sure did fly by quickly. and it's funny because when we think or talk about it, it seems not too long ago that things happened. Like I still remember the first day of classes. or all the good times that happened in first year residence. Or I can still chat up about all the good and bad professors like i've just attended their classes a couple days ago. I wonder if they're still the same? And while all the terms felt so stressful and significant, in retrospect, it wasn't so bad. but that's what happens all the time. I remember studying for my first finance exam, I thought it was the WORST exam to study for ever. and then in 3rd year I had to study for tax. and i was like okay, this HAS to be the WORST exam ever to study for. and then in fourth year there was Fixed, Cost, Tax, and Consol. And each felt HORRIBLE and undeniably worse than the one before it. but now after it all, even consol didn't' feel too bad. (though i know many will argue with me that it was disgustingly impossible). I guess in the end of it all, as long as things turn out okay it won't matter. who cares if you got a 50 or a 70? a pass is a pass. in 2 years when you're working, nobody is ever going to bring up that you got 20% less than average. nobody will even care what program you graduated from. all they'll take note of is what you can contribute at work, and how much work you do. Thos late nights that we've pulled to get that extra 2%? it's all so insignificant now. Time to focus less on the unchangeable past and more on the future peoples!! And right now in my future I foresee 15 days of carefree fun.
TIME TO PARTAYYY :D | | |
| oh boy. it's been a while hasn't it. yes it has. i guess with my schedule of assignments and midterms it's easy to lose track of time. it's always nonstop between midterms and assignments and what not. can't wait for one day to breath!
anyhoos, this term has turned out to be a pretty mediocre term so far. can't say i'm trying my usual 120%, but the results i'm getting aren't what I expected with the effort I've put in. i guess i'm just getting dumber. brain deteriorating. either that or the younger years are just getting more keen. Which makes me upset that the school is deciding to decrease the average requirements. it's not like they aren't capable. now they get it EASIER than we did?! they really do hate our year.. =(
So last week I wrote my last midterm. Very last ever for my undergraduate journey. It kinda feels unreal. I'm so scared of growing up. of facing what comes next after graduation. It feels like there's still more terms to come, more courses to take, more all nighters to pull. (well...technically there are still finals and masters, but yeah.) And while I was still in awe that I'm almost done my bachelor's degree, a question came up in a casual conversation... "is there anything you regret up to this point in your life?".
At first, I thought of this in a purely academic perspective. And heck yeah there's a lot that I regret. First of all, I hate accounting. I knew I did even coming into this program. I would've been 100X happier in a science program. And now for the rest of my life i'll be siting in a cubicle, doing something I hate, helping seemingly undeserved rich companies get richer. ACK.
Then I thought about highschool. Would I have done anything differently? yeah. probably. I think I would've liked to be more involved. I guess that goes for university too. I just kinda reflectively classified myself as an introverted academic and it carried over to university as well. I think it would've been really fun to do stuff. Plant trees. Hold a bake sale. Do a debate. Play sports. All things I never did.
And then I realized I had alot of regrets outside of school too. Social lives were part of it. I've made some pretty stupid mistakes in this respect. Let some people take advantage of me while I somehow justified to myself that it was okay. And the worst is I turn around and be a hypocrite and do something of similar idea. To this day I don't think I've forgiven myself or forgotten how much it hurts. I've let some good friendships fade, and never bothered to clear up some misconceptions. Now I have to live with the fact that it's too late to change preconceptions. And that's probably what I hate the most. I hate that it's human nature for people to make up their minds about a person in about 5 mins. Even before you meet someone, you hear all these rumours + opinions, and without even thinking we let them influence our judgements. And no matter what happens, you can't change it. It's like you have this aura around you that makes everything you do and say unacceptable. Your best friend has a nice bag, and your worst enemy has the same bag. Why is it that you can tell your best friend that you love the bag and that she has good taste, but your opinion about your enemy would be "ew, it doesn't suit him/her, they just want to look cool or something"? why is the person being penalized purely based on the fact that they are not well liked? I wish people were different sometimes in that respect.
I guess naturally I got really down after I came to these conclusions. But then I thought about all the good things that happened. I'm almost graduating from a GREAT program, and will have my masters degree in about a year. I will have a bright bright future with so many opportunities openning up to me once I get my CA. I know I can achieve something great in my life. I've also met so many people (including one special one <3), made so many friends, and learned so much about how to present myself professionally. I'm definitely less naive, and know more about the world and the way certain people behave in it. More importantly I know how to deal with these people along with all the stresses of work. I have a set direction in life, and while I was achieving all this, I still have all my bestest friends back home from highschool to support me. So many people have lost these along the way and made new ones in university, but lucky for me I have both. (omg i'm in class right now "supposedly" listening to presentations but I'm like tearing up now..) Thank you so much for being there for me, listening to me, and never doubting me with judgmental thoughts. <3 <3
So I guess at the end of it, yes. There are thousands of things I regret. Millions of things I wish I had done differently. But at the end of it, I'm happy where I am now. I'm glad to have about all who are here with me, and where I'm about to be headed. And the best part is, I still have plenty of time to make up for all my regrets. I can get more involved with my company, and perhaps work for an bio-medical-science industry that I'm more interested in. I am so excited to start the next chapter and the rest of my life :) :)
Have you ever thought about anything YOU regret in your life?
(yay. killed an entire class =D)
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| woohoo! so it's the last day of work for me, and 12 hour left till VEGASSS <3. it's kinda hard to concentrate and work when i'm so overly excited, so i've decided to spend my last hours here at service reflecting on the term....in a less traditional way. And here's what i've come up with: Mary's List of Things She's Glad were Invented (after this past coop experience) 1. Flats. Seriously they are 1000 times more comfortable than any shoe that can be worn in the office. Although i must admit, they are not as professional as the tradition black heel, I see some of the females in my office wearing them and it kinda helps justify the acceptability of it. But then again I have never seen the upper level females wear anything else but stiletto high heals. So I guess its some kind of trade-off between the ability to wear comfy shoes and a million dollar salary... Hmmm.. I guess I don't really have anything to worry about anytime soon. 2. Casual Fridays. Cuz honestly I don't think I can stand wearing black white and grey for any more than 4 days. Even if they do come in different patterns. 3. The PATH and other tunnel pathways between buildings. It's awesome, you never have to go outside or breath fresh air going to, from, and while you're at work. But it definitely beats getting caught in those random rain storms. 4. Pizza (and other one handed eating foods). Without it I probably wouldn't have time to eat dinner during busy season. That and its cheap so the company is more willing to expense it. ..even if we aren't technically working overtime. =P 5. Headphones. Nobody can work 8.5 straight hours at maximum efficiency. That means there must be downtown....in the form of shirking. And if I'm going to be slacking off surfing and watching videos, I might as well enhance it with sound where ever applicable. Now if only they had something to mute my laughter as well. I think that sums up my workterm at FirstService pretty well. =) | | |
| So today someone msged me and asked me what was wrong with my blog. It was kind of suprising considering I haven't updated in a million years. I figured i couldn't have written something bad if i haven't written for so long.. haha. Anyhoos I later realized he wasn't referring to the content but the page itself. so I logged on and fixed it up now. Turns out I supposedly have a song on loop on my page? funny cuz i don't remember embedding it... And since i'm here i might as well write something so the blog dustmites don't come. So it's another friday. Another week soon to pass. It's almost going to be mid-august and I haven't gone very far with my work. And the worst part is i'm referring to both my DE course and in the office. It's probably cuz I always get home so late from work and get too tired to study. And why do i get home late? because I always have to stay late to finish my work. and WHY do I have to stay late? Because I take super long lunches. I always go take a breather outside and end up walking off for like 30 minutes in a random direction. I think I can semi-confidently say that I am familiar and have entered every store/restaurant/shop in a 3km radius. One time me and rob were walking thru holt renfrew and I think he was disgusted at the fact that I knew where everything was. Anyways enough of what I do at lunch. I don't know if any of you remember, but about a year ago I wrote a post about a store that I randomly stumbled upon. Ever since then, I have attempted to go back to the store but when I try to go and look for it again, I could never find it. Even with my random walks. At some point I thought I just imagined the store. but lucky for me today I found it again! I was actually speedwalking back to work from an over-extended 2 hour lunch when the extremely quirky and cute objects in the window display caught the corner of my eye. 
The tag on the yellow blob says "super juicy chicken". common now. How can you not want it?
It's like magic, I don't find it, it finds me (okay probably not, but you get the point). It always appears when I least expect it.. and never when I actually have time to go inside and look at all the nice things thoroughly. Oh well, At least now I know I didn't imagine the store. And I took a picture just to make sure.
The store front. make sure you go inside whenever it finds you! =)
I felt like such a tourist but i just HAD to do it. Cuz you know, things like this are too good to be true. (How is it that i want EVERY SINGLE THING in that store?! ) And when it's too good to be true, it usually isn't. It's kinda like unicorns. Something you've always wanted but never thought would really exist. And now, I have found my unicorn.
Wait, no..... I have two. =) <3 Anyways, sorry for the random direction-less post and the continual advertising for this store. (no wonder it's called propaganda....-___-") Lesson learned today is: "don't eat lunch or you'll fail your DE course." kthnxbye. | | |
| I am kinda of peeved.
I don't even want to ask anymore.
I'll just save you the effort of coming up with an excuse.
I guess it's my fault. I don't exactly have the best record.
So I'll just assume that you assumed asking wouldn't have changed the outcome.
okay enough emo. back to studying.
why the heck did I not start this course when I had the chance.
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